When I had first finished some poems of my quran translation at the end of 2007, I sent an e-mail to Fred Leemhuis of the university of Groningen. He didn’t bother to reply to my e-mail.

Somewhere during 2008 I wrote a blog post about my experiences in the rotten GGZ institution “jelgerhuis”. Some time after my case manager said the AIVD (dutch intelligence agency) had called the GGZ but they were too stupid to understand.

In 2009 quite some music videos appeared on MTV which seemed to be a reaction to my work. This is something that stems from the mid 90’s.

When I later e-mailed Mladen Popovic of the same university of Groningen, he claimed that I should ask the artists who made the music to pay me. I wasn’t asking him for money. I needed him to have someone write a press release for the newspapers, so they could copy paste it in their rotten bulletins and it could end up being mentioned on wikipedia, where everyone around the world can read it so they knew about my translation and where to find it. Instead he intended to continue spreading blasphemy.

If I had wanted to become rich, I would have studied economics. I did have a donation button on my website, which could have made me financially independent, but my debt was paid off by a family member (who had caused the problems in the first place) after a few years and I managed to get a decent disability allowance. Not that I wasn’t looking for more, but it would have to be enough to provide a steady income.

Overall things would have looked a lot better if banks, the government, psychiatry and the allowances organisation had some better rules, but that would apply to every person.

Currently I am forced to look for a very specific housing solution of a palace-like quality. My guess is that it should have room for various types of staff, security, and some foresty land to relax on without having to look over my shoulder for dogs, bikers, motorcyclists, little children, fishermen and all  sorts of other people who use the road for anything else but walking.

I do have a fundraising page on gofundme, but I need a few million. First of all I need to hire someone who knows how to spend the money. I can’t even watch while someone else constructs a piece of furniture in my house. I walk out of the room.

So my needs are quite specific and expensive and I don’t think I can manage to fundraise it myself. Someone else will have to either pay outright or think of a way to raise funds. I don’t understand the whole theme of fundraising. It seems very unpredictable to me. I think it gives off a very dangerous illusion of people being able to solve their own problems.

Someone else will have to solve this problem for me, because I won’t.

© Koos Swart 2013